Have you ever been hurt by someone who really matters to you??
As we all know no one is responsible for our HAPPINESS!! But in reality the more we value a person the more we will get hurt when their action is against in want they want to do.
As I enter my college life everything CHANGE! A new sets of friends, new professors, new environment.
Adjustment is required for me to maintain a good grade, maintain my new friends and so on and so fort.
But as time goes by, the feeling that I used to feel becomes my burden!
My spiritual life became cold! It just feel it. I don't want to go to church anymore! I don't know what was happening to me that time. I just said to myself: maybe I'm just busy to my overloaded school works.
When I noticed that I've change a lot. I decided to talked to our spiritual adviser. She said I need a break. As I step to the door I was thinking what's really going on with me? I myself didn't know who I really was then.
I planned to talk with my discipler but I changed my mind. I know she was too busy and many things that needed to think for than me.
Furthermore, last July 04,2012 I encounter my 2nd heartache. My special someone is in love with the other girl. And what's more painful about it he asked me how to court or should I say how to win this girl heart. How painful it is on my side. The next day I went to schools chapel and cry as hard as I can.
I wear my fake smile so that my classmates can't see how broken I was that time.
This is my intro on my literary article for our school paper ( VOX STILUS" entitled DABDA.
A mnemonics like, the steps while moving on w/c means Denial, Anger, Bitterness, Depression and Acceptance.
Today, I thought I'm in the last level---ACCEPTANCE!
But I'm wrong, when something happened a couple of hours ago, I realized that I'm still in the level of denial!!
I realized that I'm just convincing myself that everything is OK.
That I used to feel the pain, that I'm too insensitive for that thing. But I'm wrong :(
It all sink in.. I just feel the pain, and it is my first time to cry on the jeep because of that pain. I really hurts :'(
I want to shout, I want to dispute my pain to those people and the reason why I feel THIS WAY. But I simply can't.
I am the only reason why I cried, why I feel this pain. I'm to sensitive. That's why I'm planing to change.
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE on my HAPPINESS except myself.
